Signs Along the Way

My Facebook friends and my Kealakehe colleagues know of my decision to retire early so that this is my last year teaching in Hawaii DOE. Over the past few years, I had mentioned that it was a possibility. This past school year, my mental and spiritual journey was to look for the signs of whether or not I should take that step. I will likely write a longer piece on my decision, but for now, I wanted to share some of the quotes/signposts that I saved from Facebook in the past few months leading to the decision. There are lots more. This is just a sampling. You get the gist. 

Energy of Disappointment

There is energy to be tapped

in disappointment

Whether it be in a job

or a cause

or a political figure

or a relationship

The hope for success 

For dreams come true

For visions manifesting

Had energy.

But when that hope dies

What happens to that energy

Defines you.

You could wallow 

in despair

Justify mind-numbing 

choices

Become cynical

Or you could

Take that energy

And make something with it

Create something

Do something

That would not have been done

Without that infusion

Of thwarted energy

Of anger

Of frustration

Of disappointment

Without the redirection

Of hope-filled energy

Every bit of energy

I had planned 

To give to that hope,

I now give to 

Something else.

I walk

I run

I sweat

I exhilarate

in the sound 

of music in my ears

In the rhythm 

of my shoes on the ground

In time 

to joyous, 

beautiful,

life-filled 

songs.

Review: The Girl with the White Flag

This book is making its rounds among my family. The subtitle is "A spellbinding account of love and courage in wartime Okinawa." The author is the girl with white flag, Tomiko Higa, who was 7 years old when this photo was taken upon the American conquest of Okinawa in WWII. 

What she describes is horrifying and no child should ever have to experience it. But they do, and this continues to this day. We share the same race. Had my grandparents not immigrated, I could be her. But would I have been as brave? I hope so. That personalizes it for me, but it's shouldn't.  Whether to Okinawans, to Japanese, to Guamanians, to Jews, to Iraquis, Afghanis, or Palestinians, war is horrible. Horrifying. Wrong.

I had this delusional belief that war is only about soldiers fighting for their country. And the casualties would only have been the military. But look at this table: Almost as many civilians died in the Battle of Okinawa than soldiers. How can that be? Why did it have to be? 

Yes, this is the past. But war rages on. Drones are killing civilians. This is wrong. 

Succulents and Terrariums

I do know why I'm attracted to succulents and terrariums. I think even I can make them last. I don't pride myself in my gardening skills, but I do love plants. Today, I was so happy to find these at the Green Market in Captain Cook, sold by a father of a colleague, I discovered when he gave me his card (Amoguis). 

I'll keep you posted on whether or not I'm successful and if I am and if you're on my Island, you just may receive one as a gift someday.

Gifts, a poem

In celebration of National Poetry month, I am posting a poem that I wrote that I'm kinda proud of. It was a healing poem for me, a way of emerging from a bad relationship. 

Gifts

You do not travel this world unclothed

Upon your coming

You are bestowed with gifts of finery

And as you grow, you are dressed

Think of this clothing as treasure,

Not to be hoarded but shared

Yet not to be squandered

Vulnerable to theft

Think of this treasure as the stuff of art

Draw it, shape it, give it voice

Think of this art as your children

Love and nurture

Protect and respect them.

And think of these children

As sunflowers

Expanding

And ever-reaching

Towards the Source

- Diane Aoki, 1994